“To the girls, to the women, to the mothers, to the daughters who hear the music bubbling within, please speak up, we need to hear your voices.“ —composer Hilda Guðnadóttir

I am sometimes mistaken for my narrators, most of whom are women, some of whom are blonde, all of whom have something to say—often in first person.

First Person:

  • Ashley St. Helens (narrator of The Souls of Her Feet)
    Winner of the Shoes, a Mirror, and a Big Pink Rose my fairytale reality” musical contest
  • Cosima Zanardi (narrator of The Vesuvian Affair)
    A Wiccan Dr. of Theology & international woman of mystery
  • Dr. Jayne Hart (narrator of Jayne With a Why)
    Author of , I, Uterus: Apocryphal Writings by Philosophers’ Women & former pregnant philosophy student.
  • Dr. & Mrs. Penelope Id (author of Kid is 2/3 Id and Dr. Id’s Magic Sleep Recipe)
    A hundred-year-old renegade psychiatrist
  • Kristella Frizzante – a Freelance Italian Spokesmodel makes her first silent film.
  • Mister Chance (narrator of Mister Chance’s School of Charm)
    A cross-dressing society matron who infiltrates secret societies—and then becomes one.
  • Nettie Pendragon (narrator of The Reason She Left)
    A college dropout, a questioning mind, awakening to the path of knowledge vs. wisdom.
  • Una Pulmonis (reads The Sleach at Heart of the Muse)
    A consumptive goth poetess 

Other characters

Here’s a secret: all my characters are actually me. (Metaphysically, so are you.)

  • Dr. Mädchen Märch – professor of Folklore at Castleton College
  • Emily Egg – a patient and passive ovum is annoyed by her overly enthusiastic suitor, in Sammy Sperm’s Guide to Safe Sex, but expresses her gender in Emily Egg’s Guide to Fashion and her spirit in Emily Egg’s FairyGoddessPriestessAngel Newage Coloring Calendar.
  • Harry Carrington/Carrie D’Aweigh – human rights lawyer by day this weekend drag queen steals the show in The Souls of Her Feet musical and book.
  • Katrina Himmelstein – the lead singer of Strüwwelpeter, the Hessian Metal Rock band, bursts onto the scene in The Dirndl Diaspora.
  • Linda Loveland – a budding psychospiritual vodcaster who tamed a beast with love in The Number of the Beast.
  • Lotus LaRoux – a siren from the twenties who made a Baron explode from desire.
  • Nevada LeBlanc – A Liberal Artist hiding for her life in Mirror Imag(in)e.
  • Renaissance Woman – the superheroine who came to life in Perfectly Revolting: My Glamorous Cartooning Career.
  • Sammy Sperm – a gamete seeking to express his gender in The Real World Adventures of Sammy Sperm, and to do the right thing in Sammy Sperm’s Guide to Safe Sex.
  • Savannah James – proprietress of The Dirndl Diaspora who turns her German ancestry into fashion fantasy.
  • Ted/Tex – hero of Ted’s Tender Trophy, a veal-hunting adventure.
  • The Artist & The Muse – sparring partners in the play, Be Mused.
  • Vesuviette – avatar of the goddess Vesuvia in The Vesuvian Affair, concept costume in Ten Days, Ten Pounds.

Real people:

And then there’s me

I write my travel stories, blogs and essays in my own voice.

  • Captain Kristen (stripe-wearing cat-choreographer in The Wind in Our Sails.)
    President of the California Writers Club Berkeley Branch from 2017-2020.
  • Kristen Baumetc. – Me when I was a young cartoonist and funny person.
  • KRS10 – An aspiring hip-hop queen who has to settle for teaching Zumba.
  • Polly Polkadot, America’s Friend – what my husband calls me, since I can’t walk up the street without checking in on neighbors and strangers, educating the community about human rights, idling habits, parenting, and fiber.
  • The Bellevue Muse – appearing in Ten Days, Ten Pounds

Brought to you by

  • Generous Muse – the nickname I’ve given to my creative outpouring, Generous Muse is my ongoing fiscally sponsored project (by Fractured Atlas), encompassing my “museletter” and creative events and programs.
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